With Blended Family Coach and Author Naja Hall.
Dealing with conflict in a Blended home from Ex Spouses and Bio Parents is NO JOKE! That’s why I’ve asked one of the best in the biz to share some real life tips on how to do just that! Naja Hall spends some time with me today, you don’t want to miss a single minute!
- Show Notes –
In this episode, Tim chats with Naja Hall, Founder of Blended & Black. Naja’s personal mission is to promote harmony and restore balance in mending, broken, and blended millennial families. Today, they talk about the stress in second marriages, surviving in a blended family situation, and Naja’s valuable tips to all biological and stepparents out there.
Podcast Show Notes:
- 00:12 – Welcome to the Blendcredible Podcast
- 00:26 – Tim introduces Naja to the show
- 01:18 – About Blendcredible and Blended & Black
- 01:59 – Naja shares what “stepmom” and
“blended family” means to her
- Disney’s stereotyping of “all stepmoms are evil”
- Naja has a group for people in blended families
- Blended families are a system from a separation of original family units
- 04:43 – The stress in second marriages
- 05:03 – “First marriages are born out of hope”
- Second families are born out of “death”
- Naja talks about children’s grieving and new parental figures
- 07:09 – Surviving a blended family needs research
- Early rejection is common
- It takes 5-7 years for a new family to blend
- “Kids are a little narcissist”
- Kids get so lost in the shuffle, they lose stability
- 11:22 – It’s a step parent’s responsibility to remember that stepchildren are still children
- 13:46 – Unappreciation is most common in stepdads
- 16:11 – Naja shares how she talks through
step-parents about what they’re getting into
- Children need to know that the 2 adults have their backs
- Always involve your partner
- Reinforcing rules inside the home is paramount
- Make sure the stepperson in the family has respect for your kids
- “Children are manipulative”
- Transitional position of power
- 21:56 – Stepdads sometimes leave because they feel emasculated
- 22:10 – Naja shares how her blended family
started with a high-conflict divorce
- Introduce your partner in a way that commands respect
- 25:42 – Tim chats about his situation now
- He has an advantage over his wife being a stepparent
- Speak the language of the child for a better chance of getting along
- Parents play an invaluable role for these kids’ lives
- 29:37 – One main issue: conflict resolution
- Naja’s advise: “Be Cool”
- A high-conflict person can just be a person who’s in pain
- 32:35 – Naja’s latest book, Girl,Bye!: She’s Not Going Anywhere…Neither Are You
- Her book is a combination of her own life experiences, coaching clients, and what she’s seen in parenting groups
- She created a workbook to compel readers to take action
- 10 days to change the way you think
- Stepmoms and bio moms have interchangeable roles
- Trying to understand from a place of empathy
- Naja has a 10-day video series to walk you through it
- 44:30 – The best part of Naja’s book for her
- The Bonus 10 Commandments
- “It takes zero energy to walk away from confrontation”
- 49:16 – Never lose love when you start to question
- 49:49 – Connect with Naja on Blended & Black
- 51:19 – Follow Tim on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook
- 51:38 – We’d love to hear from you! For any questions and feedback, check out Blendcredible.com
- Remember, stepchildren are children.
- Your partner’s support and is invaluable.
- Always reinforce rules inside the home.
- Introduce your new partner with a command of respect.
- Never lose love when you start to question.